You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Randomize
