When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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