chastity bono is officially a man...and has a really hot girlfriend...life doesn't make sense
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I left my Thanksgiving family dinner puking in my hands from the worst hangover in the world
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
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