He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Does puking on your bio final mean I can retake it?
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Randomize
