Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I really wish I didn't have to wear pants this is ridiculous
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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