i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
reasons why jon gosselin is probably ur biological father: 1. ur half asian 2. hes everyones biological father 3. u wear ed hardy
sounds legit
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Eventually the creepy theater major quirks will come out. Probably in bed. Like role playing as the Phantom of the Opera
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
Randomize
