chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
His nipple licking is glorious
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