after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
I took a sleeping pill while he was in the bathroom. Time for a game of how long can we bang before I fall asleep.
You are both horrible and amazing
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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