Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
She. Own s my pussycat. Roxk it like. The sun hitting the horizon
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I can't even express how horny I am. The English language isn't equipped for what I'm plotting.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
