You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Watching her eat just hurts me
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
3 2 1 whiskey
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
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