so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
you cried when she wouldn't let you have her bathroom rug.
Because you know it would be fucking amazing to get trashed and shatter the dreams of 12 year old girls. I might get a shirt.
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
