We named our party play list daddy issues
I cut my penus on the lid.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
If God invented something better than rough, drunken, lesbian sex he kept that shit to himself.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
