I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I will fuck him senseless, no need for a priest.
I only have one eye to read your texts because I just stabbed one out after reading that last text.
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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