This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
Hey! Thanks for asking, but it didnt go well. He threw up in the car on the way to dinner. Blind dates arent for everyone.
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
i keep forgetting that not all of my female friends are bisexual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
New policy: when a woman uses the word blowjob in a sentence within 5 minutes of meeting her, you buy her a drink.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
They were out of watermelon smirnoff, so we got you a fifth of 5 o'clock and an actual watermelon.
Would you say that skipping class and sitting alone in my room singing One Direction to myself and sobbing is an acceptable way to deal with the break-up
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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