Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
Sunshine is the equivalent of sprinkling whore pellets on campus.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
His junk had piercings everywhere. The dick and balls. It was a fucking pirate penis.
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