I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
There is a wine bar at this airport that it is currently full of mid-40s women reading their Kindles. I'm attracted to all of them.
It's 11 A.M.
You know what, I think I will
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
