walked into a party last night, i saw 3 ex gfs standing in a circle talking to each other...that's the quickest u-turn i've ever made in my life.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
Weekday college schedule so far: get high as tits. Watch Family Guy marathons. Repeat.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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