party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I am not drunk. I will recite the pledge.
I don't want you to recite the pledge!
Pledge alligien to america to united states of america
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
There was a sweat stain in the shape of a fast chick with low standard on your bathroom floor
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
Randomize
