She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
Tostitos Scoops as shot glasses. Eat for chaser.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
Randomize
