If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
I have to date her. We need a place to stay when we go tailgating.
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Every time I download Tinder again, I hate myself a little more.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
