so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
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The mass text at 3:12AM offering "free scrotum tastings" will have repercussions
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
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Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
dude. I can hear the air.
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