is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
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Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
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I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
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