I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
I'll be home soonish I need 4th of July sex, it's the American thing to do.
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
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