ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Lol. I get my husbands paycheck every week. Immediate deposit into my purse next to his balls.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
Randomize
