Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
