She took a break from repeating "my face is still buzzing!" to say that the phantom of the opera could be here
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I didn't want to have to tell you this, violating our brother/sister code not to discuss these things but: for the love of christ stop inviting that 21 year old idiot I slept with for six months to EVERY PARTY WE THROW.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I'm high on the exercise bike at the gym. I feel like Lance Armstrong
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
