So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Puked in a plastic neiman Marcus bag while driving. My biggest accomplishment yet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I walked downstairs and he was standing in nothing but his boxers with his dick hanging out warming up eggs in the microwave.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize