Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
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He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just found my shirt from Saturday, got an automatic contact buzz.
thank you whoever used my nalgene as a flask. pregamin in chem
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
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After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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