i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
If she "comes out" to me I guess I'll high five her. That's pretty much my response to everything these days.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Randomize
