Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
