You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Where'd you go last night?
Don't EVER let me photobomb a group of lesbians again. They made me their "straight mascot" and I ended up singing Donna summer tunes for beers at their apartment complex.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Randomize
