We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I asked you why you bought a sword and you then replied with the greek alphabet and then tried to assure me that samurais are apart of greek life.
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