I just sold weed to a guy holding a baby...does this make me a bad person?
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
By the end of the second bowl I was making sound effects to every hand movement he made.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
