I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
Swear to god, if I have to wingman for you on my honeymoon I'm gonna be pissed
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
