dude i woke up in a pile of chocolate chips. this has to stop happening
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
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