Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
Your philanthropic work just got me laid, thanks dad for naming me #2.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
Why is our fridge full of girl scout cookies and rum?
You told me to go grocery shopping.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I was afraid I was gonna get a URI, so I peed on his front porch.
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