I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
my phone vibrated itself into my puke bucket and literally sizzled. you'll have to reach me at this number for a while.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
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