Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
I just want you to know that were having pizza delivered to the emergency room
Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I woke up with my winter coat on, next to a polaroid of me, her and a swan...so no I don't remember our conversation.
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Randomize
