I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I wish orgasms lasted as long as the pain from rug burn
I just got over my period in 3 days...I believe that is god's way of saying "go fuck an amazingly attractive Italian boy on vacation"
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
Thanks for letting me use your ID, there's $120 along with your ID in the mail to cover the Urinating in public fine I got last night....sorry
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Sometimes, it’s important to take a moment and kinkshame yourself.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
