I can't believe the cop was so cool about the whole thing, I mean, I had man mayo all over my jeans.
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
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