just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
Sam Adams makes it so easy to keep track of the seasons.
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
The convent might be a nice break from real life
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
Randomize
