so Mike and I made a deal. we'd do anal if he would help me pick out carpet tomorrow.
What...you let him do that?
It wasnt that bad. the two minutes it took is nothing compared to the 10 hr day I have planned for him tomorrow
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
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I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
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Today needs to die. The mail delivery guy watched me throw up in my yard while taking my chihuahua out in Christmas pajamas at noon. Low point in my life.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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