i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Last night he asked the cab driver "if you were in the middle of getting tattooed and the tattoo artist suddenly got a boner would you leave or would you get that boner??"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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