And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
He kept telling me how extraordinarily clean my ears were.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
Dude she passed out on the floor so you covered her with a blanket to make sure "no one would notice her"
And when she started moving around and making noises you told everyone, "it's okay, it's just my roomba under there".......
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
Randomize