he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
I'm still drunk dear. I just woke up 3 feet from the front door with 20 dollars worth of taco bell in my hands.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
Get to the bar now. Ryan is single again and every skank on campus that has heard story about his dick is circling like a shark. A cock hungry shark
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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