You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
It's like God shit irony all over that family
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
heres the thing, we have 120 cans of beer left in the fridge. until thats finished we cant fit food in the fridge
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Randomize
