Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
You better buy her a motherfucking bunnyrabit to make up for this. And me footsie pajamas for being a cockblock.
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
Randomize
