If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
I've been watching porn with my cat lately. No shame
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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