It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
When you come back do you think I could print anorexic pictures of Mary-Kate?
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
good news: i got laid. bad news: by your boyfriend
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
