I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
So I got cockblocked by our relationship status last night
Randomize
