If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
you should wait a day or two to break up with your girlfriend
why?
so we can have sex in the meantime. It adds a little excitement.
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he walkred up to the manager at dennys and said 'look, my friends passed out in your bathroom, can i go get her?'
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
Xanax and cookies, it's good to be home
This is my life. Enjoy the view
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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