Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
Well don't pass out under a Swedish flag and people won't make assumptions
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Nothing says I'm committed to you for all eternity like letting him wear crocs to the wedding
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Decided to stay sober a couple days, learned how exceptionally stupid my coworkers are. Might have to quit now. Moral of the story:be careful where you go sober.
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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