I loved tuna sandwiches so much in grade school it was so embarrassing
Everyday all the kids would be like oh grosss whose eating tuunnaa
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
A 300 lb dude in a sundress yelling bible verses while wearing a raggedy anne wig is just as funny as I thought it would be. Thank you san francisco.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Please say a prayer for the elevator people at work today. My farts are significantly more potent the day after hitting that korean place for lunch...
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
I'm committing myself to dance. Also, I'm unsure if you said space party sounded lame because dude was old, but I hope you're over it because I love space, and I love David Bowie and I love to dance, and you need to embrace this with me.
He stole one of my good bras again. If I'm not getting laid I'm not putting with this shit. Also it's a walk of shame for you today, my car is suicidal again.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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