so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
Randomize
