you want to go make fun of the strippers on try out night
i got kicked out last time for laughing
I just farted. And everybody around me is looking at the fat girl to my left. I win.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Maybe it was silver. I don't know. I was drunk sifting through my dogs vomit.
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
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