Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
