i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
