you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I wouldn't accept the money so he folded the $20 bill into an origami puppy and left a note saying "Not blowjob money"
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
He only has one ball. it was like fucking a cyclops.
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize