maybe you should take the dick out of your mouth before you start talking.
i did. i'm using it as a microphone.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
