Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
i think im having one of those erections lasting four or more hours
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
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