just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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