stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Just spilled beer all over my bed. Should cut myself off, but instead I just took my shirt off and used it as a towel.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
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