can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
You were chewing up hot dogs and spitting them out
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
