they just dont make restraining orders like they used to.
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
