Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
