Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
I made him sleep with a condom on and i passed out on the carpet with only a bra on.
I have to be home in time to watch my friend on that Lifetime show about having babies. And by friend, I mean the girl I had a lesbian experience with at a party 3 years ago.
Sober Sundays just aren't working out anymore.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
Randomize
